The Groupon Guide to: Lock Picking

As easy as it is to misplace your keys, just as many people melt down the lock looseners to collect the precious aluminum they're made from or swallow them as part of an employment initiation ritual. If you've lost your keys, follow this guide to open any type of lock using just your wits:

• Car Door: Stick a wire coat hanger through a crack in the car’s window and directly into the ignition. Turn it on and the car will drive itself to a locksmith.
• Apartment Entrance: Every door made after 1970 uses a built-in "open sesame"–style magic word. If you haven't changed yours, the default is screaming any modern swear word.
• Grandma's Antique Steamer Trunk: Throw the trunk in the fireplace and swallow the ashes to gain the memories it once held.
• A Young Girl's Heart: To unlock true love, you must first learn to love yourself. You can do this by winning the lottery.
• The Terrifying News Concerning Your Own Family Hidden in This Very Lock-Picking Guide: If you can crack the simple cipher hidden here, you may be able to save them.